Today this word feels more relatable. I sit teetering between reality and distortion. The real world to me looks as if every corner is piled with stuff.
For years, I was taught to ignore clutter and leave these piles in the hopes of one day. I distracted myself with a surcharge of dopamine. Corner to corner stuff grew and my growth for Instagram, tv, YouTube, and Snapchat grow as well. In particularly stressful periods I indulge in hours upon hours of the adult industry.
At might be mean to say, but my inaction of life is what I am looking at now. 30 minutes of looking at decades of piles make me want to retreat.
This morning as I tried to convince myself to not look at my phone and to get up at 5am. I laid in my bed feeling it with possibilities of the day. I continued glancing at my phone not knowing what to do when all I think I wanted to get up. Instead of getting up, I fought my temptation of asking google or Sira. I ended up falling back asleep and retreating to my dream.
